Thursday, April 27, 2006

A report outlining the possible impact on celebrity magazines as a result of developments in the law relating to privacy and confidentiality

Developing privacy laws
Privacy and confidentiality laws in England are being forced to evolve due to an increasing number of high profile cases made by celebrities against newspapers and celebrity magazines. The Human Rights Act of 1998 provides for a limited incorporation of the European Convention on Human Rights (ECHR) into domestic law, including a right of privacy. The Act came into force on October 2, 2000. Thus far, the courts have only cautiously implemented the rights. In the last decade more celebrities have taken advantage of obscure and vague privacy laws, and have taken on publications who have, in their eyes, invaded their privacy and confidentiality.

"The financial penalties that a newspaper or magazine can incur for breach of privacy are simply frightening"

And why not give it a go - what do the celebrities have to lose? Regardless of the fact that English law has adopted Article 8, the right to privacy, of the ECHR, judges have been reluctant to set precedents and tighten a very complicated law, in fear of compromising Article 10, the freedom of speech. Consequently publications have been made to pay out large sums of money to the prosecuting party. Overblown damages and huge court costs act as a compromise to the media in one way - still allowing freedom of speech (however, as discussed below, even this is being threatened) - but also as a deterrent - the financial penalties that a newspaper or magazine can incur for breach of privacy are simply frightening.

The reins on free speech being tightened
Things have become increasingly difficult for the media, and in particular for biographers and kiss-and-tell authors, with a recent judgement - McKennitt v Ash & Or (December 2005). But in order to understand the implications of the verdicts delivered by The Hon. Mr Justice Eady in his report of McKennitt, it is first necessary to assess chronologically how judges have been pressured into chipping away at the privacy laws in favour of the celebrity.

A history of privacy laws
Queen Victoria, it is believed, was the first high profile person to sue for breach of privacy, after her linographs were sold by her developer. However, the earliest and simplest definition of privacy was provided by Judge Cooley in a 1888 paper. He defined privacy as, “the right to be left alone”.

Before The Younger Report, in 1972, there had only been a relatively small number of cases where privacy had seriously been breached. Indeed, before the 1960s the potential friction between freedom of speech and freedom of privacy was barely felt, as there existed a quid pro quo arrangement; the justice system and the media had an unspoken agreement which allowed publication of certain aspects of a person’s private live, but nothing too sensational or damning.

The Younger Report set out to tighten the loose reins of the media, in terms of their publishing defamatory articles and intrusive photographs. “Privacy is a basic need, essential to the development and maintenance both of a free society and of a mature and stable individual personality”, the report suggested. However, The Younger Committee, in its Report of the Committee on Privacy, decided that the word privacy could not be defined satisfactorily, and in essence the report had a more threatening bark than bite.

The modern problem
It was Andy Warhol who coined the word “superstar” which typified the zeitgeist of the 1970s. With the horrors of the Second World War, a generation forgotten, and technology constantly evolving, people began to aspire to celebrity status. With the excess of the 1980s there came a stronger desire to see how the mega rich lived their charmed lives.

"In the last decade, as a consequence of the voyeuristic, cloy, coverage of Diana, things have begun to change so that the celebrity can have more privacy and support as dictated by a number of court rulings"

The life and premature death in 1997 of Princess Diana epitomised how hungry the public had become for glimpses of celebrity life, and how poorly supported celebrities at that time were, regardless of The Calcutt Committee‘s Report of the Committee on Privacy and Related Matters (1990) et al. The media were more than happy to feed and tantalise readers by printing intrusive photos of the Princess, as they knew it would guarantee sales. She was pursed by paparazzi at every opportunity, and while Diana’s death caused public outcry (the paparazzi were blamed), simultaneously the public wanted the gory truth. Princess Diana’s death was the subject of more newspaper coverage than the most dramatic events of the Second World War and set a media record, according to Durrants Press Cuttings agency, who monitor nearly 200,000 newspapers and magazines a year. Indeed, no other subject in the agency’s archives - which go back to 1880 - compared to the coverage devoted to Diana’s death, funeral and subsequent stories.

The details of Diana’s death were published at a time when journalists still enjoyed relative carte blanche. In the last decade, as a consequence of the voyeuristic, cloy, coverage of Diana, things have begun to change so that the celebrity can have more privacy and support as dictated by a number of court rulings.

Post Diana
A number of other factors have come into play. Now, through communications technologies, the Web, CCTV, digital and phone cameras, more people are likely to gain an opportunity to snap footage of a celebrity. Furthermore, the word celebrity has become largely generic, and modern society is saturated with celebrities. All sorts of people - from reality TV contestants, teenage pop stars, chefs, housewives, vets and DJs - are deemed celebrities. With the amount of “celebrities” there are nowadays, the number of rude, lewd and scandalous articles we find in our newspapers is not surprising.

Important cases in England
In May 2003 Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones won a court case which lasted three years, “shoe-horning” the problem, again indicating the hesitancy of the courts to pen any new rulings on privacy in indelible ink. The Hollywood couple sued Hello! magazine after unauthorised pictures appeared after they had signed a £1m agreement with magazine rival OK! to print exclusive photographs. Even though the original damages claim was £14,000, Hello! faced a £4m bill, because they were ordered to pay 85% of the court costs.

Two months after the Douglases’ case, and perhaps motivated by their victory, radio DJ Sara Cox followed suit in bringing a privacy case to a successful conclusion. Cox was on honeymoon when she and her husband were photographed naked on a private beach. The photographs were subsequently published by The People newspaper, and Cox brought proceedings for damages against the newspaper and against the agent for the photographer. Sara Cox received £50,000 in damages, and the publishers, once again, were lumbered with her legal costs, which ran to several hundred thousand pounds.

In May 2004 Naomi Campbell successfully sued the Daily Mirror for breach of confidence after it published photographs of the model outside a Narcotics Anonymous clinic in 2001. After a three year battle Campbell won damages of £3,500. MGN Ltd, owners of the Mirror, however, were landed with a legal bill over £1m, as Campbell had funded her privacy appeal on a CFA (Conditional Fee Arrangement). The to and fro nature of the case again highlighted the uncertain legal ground being trodden, and the fact that Campbell won, coupled with the CFA factor, made the industry flinch and shudder. Worse was to come for the media.

Princess Caroline of Monaco
One of the most significant privacy cases in recent years - Von Hanover v Germany (June 2004) - was conducted in Strasbourg. Princess Caroline of Monaco, an “international celebrity” whose every move was of interest to the tabloid press, brought legal actions in a number of countries to try to prevent the publication of photographs of her private life. These photographs typically showed her engaging in ordinary activities in a variety of public places. Caroline complained that she was hounded by paparazzi, and therefore the press was not, she argued, performing its essential role in a democratic society but was an “entertainment press”, seeking to satisfy its readers voyeuristic tendencies and make huge profits.

"The German government contested that German law was halfway between the powerful protections of French privacy law, and the weak privacy protection in England"



Princess Caroline was successful in restraining the publication of photographs taken of her children and photographs taken in “secluded places”. The German government defended its national law. They contested that German law was halfway between the powerful protections of French privacy law, and the weak privacy protection in England, before arguing that the role of the press as watchdog could not be narrowly interpreted and that German law struck a fair balance between privacy and freedom of expression.

A unanimous Court of Human Rights disagreed. Their decision rested on three points:


1. The “zone of interaction of a person with others, even in a public context” fell within the sphere of private life (paragraph 50), and within the scope of Article 8 (paragraph 53).

2. Although the interferences were not by the State but by private bodies, Article 8 was relevant because the State owed positive obligations which “may involve the adoption of measures designed to secure respect for private life even in the sphere of the relations of individuals between themselves” (paragraph 57). This also applied to the protection of an individual’s picture against abuse. When considering these positive obligations to protect private life, a balance had to be struck between privacy and freedom of expression.

3. The publication of the photographs did not contribute to public debate (paragraph 58).

In Judge Zupancic’s judgment he complained that the ECHR courts had, under American influence, “made a fetish of freedom of the press”, and expressed the view that it was time that the pendulum swung back to a different kind of balance between what is private and what is public.

This case was also a clear warning to the English courts that they have a positive obligation to protect the privacy rights of individuals; that the ECHR requires the development of a domestic law that protects not only “private life”, but also the “right to control the use of one’s image”.

Loreena McKennitt
Post Caroline, the British media has been intently monitoring whether English courts will heed Strasbourg’s example. The answer came when Loreena McKennitt, a Canadian folk singer, visited the High Court in December 2005. Ms McKennitt brought an action for breach of confidence against her former friend Niema Ash over publication of the book Travels with Loreena McKennitt: My Life as a Friend. McKennitt was seeking:

1. A declaration from the court that in publishing the book Ash, and her publishing company Purple Inc Press Ltd, had breached her confidence;

2. An injunction permitting the author from benefiting from the sale of the book; and

3. Damages, although she accepted that Ash was in a state of penury, and therefore would not be able to afford much.

The Hon. Mr Justice Eady referred to Von Hanover v Germany, and adhered to its approach on privacy rights. “The case is notably especially, perhaps, for the width of the notion of ‘private life’ which the European Court of Human Rights is now prepared to recognise” (paragraph 50). Further, “the concept of private life, as protected by Article 8, would extend to matters of personal identity including photographs” (paragraph 50).
Justice Eady said: “Celebrities fall from time to time like anyone else and every peccadillo or foible cannot be exposed in the supposed public interest.” He continued:
(A) trend has emerged towards acknowledging a ‘legitimate expectation’ of protection and respect for private life, on some occasions, in relatively public circumstances. It is no longer possible to draw a rigid distinction between that which takes place in private and that which is capable of being witnessed in a public place by other persons (paragraph 50).

Justice Eady ruled that the case involved two fundamental but conflicting rights: Ash's freedom of expression; and McKennitt's right to privacy. Neither right, he stated, had precedence over the other. Rather, “proportionality” was required to resolve the conflict between these competing interests.

Justice Eady granted the injunction, preventing Ash from publishing specific passages in the book, including: detailed accounts of the emotional state of McKennitt following the death of her fiancée; “household minutiae” details of her secluded Irish cottage; intimate conversations with a trusted friend; negotiations over a recording contract; and settlement of a previous legal action.

This case is important as it consolidates a number of leading international judgements, which have sought to address the scope of the right to privacy. It also recognises that even information obtained through a social relationship must be protected - you cannot reveal aspects of a relationship you may have shared with another person if doing so violates that person's privacy.

The gloomy conclusion
The McKennitt case has taken the Caroline case one step further. As Mark Warby QC suggests in his article, Privacy Law in Transition, when referring to Caroline:
This is a striking decision…the publication of photographs and information about private life will only be justifiable if it could somehow contribute to a serious debate on matters of political or social significance. This approach would…bring about something of a revolution, if applied to the daily fare of British tabloid journalism. Caroline, some say, will usher in a much more restrictive culture in English law, hitting first of all those (many) publications which trade in celebrity snapshots, and then the ‘kiss and tell’ story (paragraph 23).

Philip Conway, a lawyer with Davenport Lyons, which represents some leading newspapers, said that such rulings were already making their presence felt. “It is having an impact on the world of kiss and tell and these kinds of stories are going to get more and more difficult,” he said.

In the same vein, Duncan Lamont, of the law firm Charles Russell, said that newspapers took such complaints “much more seriously” than they have done in the past. “They know that celebrities will be granted a much larger slice of protection than they could have imagined five years ago”.

The parameters have now been established. McKennitt’s victory has sent shock waves through the legal profession, and through the media world, and has already led to exposés on other celebrities being spiked. The revolution has begun.

Advice to editors and journalists
Editors must be sure that the photographs or articles have been approved by the photographed/written about party. Indeed, McKennitt ensured the court that, had she received a copy of Ash’s book prior to its publication, she would have edited and censored it accordingly, and the case would never have gone to court.

It is true that sensationalist articles will be harder to print, or rather more expensive. But with the number of celebrities around it should only be a case of being discerning, and waiting for one of the many to slip up. It is true to say without the media spotlight many celebrities would not achieve their status, therefore it would only be a matter of time before they would crave attention again.

"Editors and journalists should be on their guard, and be as objective as they can"

Should a case go to court editors must be able to prove that the questioned articles or photographs are of “public interest”. According to the McKennitt judgment, once a “reasonable expectation of privacy” is established, the “three limiting principles” to consider are: 1. Is the information in the public domain? 2. Is the information useless or trivial? 3 Is there a public interest in disclosure?

The public is often interested in details of celebrity private lives, which, as The Hon. Mr Justice Eady suggested, “are of no real concern of theirs”. Further, claims to public interest in publications made by the media must be “scrutinised with care”. In short: editors and journalists should be on their guard, and be as objective as they can.

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CAR WARS
What would happen if Red Bull traded their drivers for Star Wars characters? Last year’s Monaco GP saw Team Red Bull invite George Lucas, Chewbacca and Darth Vader to watch the race. Oliver Pickup scours the galaxy to find the ultimate Star Wars Grand Prix drivers, and report how they would do at Monaco.

The selection process - who has the force?
Team Red Bull discounted some contenders immediately. Yoda, although a dab hand with the force, couldn’t reach the pedals, while criminal overlord Jabba the Hutt was also dropped as he couldn’t fit in the car, or indeed the track (RB boss Dietrich Mateschitz paying the grotesque giant slug off with a lifetime supply of the team’s drink). And so there were left five contenders: Han Solo; Chewbacca; Boba Fett; and, father and son combo, Anakin and Luke Skywalker.

Fuzz covered warrior Chewbacca created a fillip of excitement initially. Although he had exceptional skills when it came to starship piloting and repair, the big Wookie didn’t like going solo, without Solo. Besides, standing over two metres tall, Chewie found the car a slender fit, to say the least. With a parting roar to the bewildered pit crew, Chewie was sent baccing.

Boba Fett, a devious bounty hunter by trade, made the final cut, but was then withdrawn after Team Red Bull found a number of gadgets on his custom-made car. The gadgets would’ve enabled him to cheat and fatally wound other racing drivers, and although the team were impressed by his commitment to win at any cost, they couldn’t condone the gross misconduct. This wasn’t Wacky Races, after all.

Han Solo came close to selection, the Red Bull manager being impressed by his CV - he owned and captained the Millennium Falcon, ‘the fastest hunk of junk in the galaxy’. Alas, as often the case with Solo and his chequered history, money was an issue. Still hounded by smugglers for numerous debts, he wanted the earth – literally – to take part in such a high profile event that would blow his cover.

Luke Skywalker had greatly impressed Team Red Bull at trials, and his background was reminiscent of a young Nigel Mansell. Mansell had been born and bred in Upton-upon-Severn, a small Worcestershire backwater, while farm boy Luke hailed from the desert planet of Tatooine. From their humble beginnings, they became F1 Champion and the greatest Jedi the galaxy had ever known, respectively. On the back of that bond Luke made the grade, and was selected as Red Bull’s secondary driver.

There was little debate over the first seat though, with Red Bull technicians amazed by the track record of Luke’s father, Anakin Skywalker. Whilst a child slave on Tattoine, he had become the only known human able to compete in the fierce arena of podracing, and was snapped up and trained by the Jedi council. He became known as the greatest pilot in the galaxy, with ambition and competitive spirit to boot. Even though he was selected as the number one driver for Team Red Bull, some were wary, having heard of his impetuous and impulsive nature. With Luke and Anakin, Team Red Bull kept it in the family, as so many racing families do.

Practice and qualifying (25-26 May 2006)
Having had two hours practicing the tricky Monaco circuit on the Thursday, the Jedi’s received a rest day on Friday (an exception to the normal Grand Prix routine) to soak up the Mediterranean sun and sea, ensuring they were tanned, relaxed and ready to qualify on the Saturday.

The only minor preparation mishap to note was Luke’s lack of sleep through rooming with Anakin. Anakin’s bad sinuses, and consequential night-time heavy breathing, had deprived Luke of much sleep the previous three nights. Anakin denied any respiratory trouble in pre-qualifying press conference, claiming Luke was fond of ‘mind games’.

As the designated number one Team Red Bull driver, Anakin was the first of the pair to begin his qualifying laps. His brash and daring driving had been impressive during the practice rounds, however, come the race he knew there were limited passing opportunities through the narrow winding streets of Monte Carlo, so it was imperative to record a fast qualifying time, and cement a good place on the grid. Characteristically, Anakin fancied his chances, and boasted how he’d lead from the off, taunting some of the older drivers. He was found pacing, muttering that they stood no chance “against the power of the…” but then, he’d get asthma trouble again and have to be attended to by a mysterious cloaked member of his medical team.

Anakin began his first qualifying lap, booming through the starting line, he negotiated the first corner, Sainte Devote, at 95km/h in second gear, generating a G-force (which, after all his pod-racing experience, he was certainly used to) of 2.1. He accelerated through his gears to sixth, reaching 270km/h through the Beau Rivage straight, and up the hill towards the long left hand bend of Massanet.

With characteristic gusto Anakin floored the Team Red Bull F1 car round the Casino bend. Had he looked, he would have seen the majestic Monte Carlo Casino, designed by the same architect who had built the opera house in Paris, on his right, looming over the bend, but Jedis care not for such human frivolities. Instead he gritted his teeth as he zoomed through the sector end before taking the sharp right hand Mirabeau corner, and into Loews, the slowest hairpin in F1.

Braking hard into Loews, Anakin felt a G-force of 1.4, and bit his lip as he steered the sharp left bend in first gear, the car rattling with the force of the turn. After the slow right turn of Portier, also taken in first, Anakin floored the car through the tunnel - conqueror of Ayrton Senna and Michael Schumacher in years gone by - edging right, and into the quickest straight of the course. He reached 282km/h before slowing for the speed trap, Novelle Chicane, and then for the long left hand turn at Tabac.

Now feeling the pull of the course, Anakin steered around Piscine at 195km/h in fourth, and felt a G-force of 1.5 into the tight left of La Rascasse, before righting his car into the final bend, Anthony Noghes - named after the 1929 Automobile Club de Monaco’s president, who proposed the Grand Prix - and opened the car up in the final straight. He competed the 3.367km lap in 1:16.580, and could only manage an average of 2:33.330, after having trouble exiting the slow Loews turn. He vowed to do better, apologising to his master. Obi Wan told him to stop taking himself so seriously, but Anakin stormed into the pits, the red paintwork on a nearby Ferrari reflecting in his eyes.

It was good enough to gain fourth on the grid, behind fastest lap record holder Michael Schumacher (a five-time winner at Monaco), reigning F1 champion Fernando Alonso, and 2005 Monaco winner, the Finn, Kimi Räikkönen. As number two Red Bull driver, Luke reservedly and skilfully negotiated the Monaco circuit to gain sixth position on the grid, with the Italian Giancarlo Fisichella sandwiched between himself and Anakin. Despite pre-qualification claims he was finally ready to win his first Grand Prix, Brit Jenson Button found himself largely out of the running in seventh.

Grid positions
M. Schumacher, Alonso, Räikkönen, A. Skywalker, Fisichella, L. Skywalker, Button, Rosberg, Webber, Villeneuve, Montoya, Liuzzi, Trulli, R. Schumacher, Heidfeld, Speed, Albers, Monteiro, Sato, Barrichello, Massa, Ide.

The Race (27 May 2006)
As the cars lined up on the Monaco grid ready to commence the 78 lap race - the drivers revving loudly - Anakin’s competitive spirit kicked in, and his adrenaline began to pump. Many celebrities had turned out to watch the race, donning their finest linen shirts and best poseur sunglasses, all discussing the surprise Red Bull entries. Among the champagne-sipping crowd were Brad and Angelina (who were later chastised for copulating in Schumacher’s car pre-race) and playboy Prince Albert and Princess Caroline of Monaco. Also in the crowd were the disgruntled pairing of Captain Kirk (William Shatner) and Dr Spock (Leonard Nimoy), infuriated that they weren’t even considered for the race - there were more Trekkie films after all. David Beckham was also spotted, unshackled from a pregnant pouting Posh, whom he had left looking after their other three children in Madrid.

Despite being off on a jolly, Beckham was a disappointed man, left to lament that
fellow-Brit Button was starting the race back in seventh place, appalling given the rich success that his countrymen had achieved at Monaco in the past. Indeed, Becks pointed out to the pretty supermodel beside him that it had been an Englishman, William Grover-Williams in a Bugatti, who had won the first ever Grand Prix here in 1929, and also how Graham Hill, father of Damon, had won the race five times to become known as the ‘Master of Monaco’. His patriotic moans were soon interrupted by the public address system. “Gentlemen, and Jedis, please start your engines.”

When the lights changed to green Anakin eased past Räikkönen at the first Sainte Devote corner, giving a cackle into his snotty helmet (his sinuses were still playing havoc) as he sped into third place. Similarly, Luke, who had used his team-mate’s slip stream, nipped in ahead of the Italian Fisichella before the bend.

After that initial bend, and barring a collision between the back runners Sato and Massa, the field soon settled into a shape that, because of the lack of opportunities to overtake, remained much the same until cars began to re-fuel at around the 35 lap mark. As race leader, the wily German technocrat Michael Schumacher had established a healthy margin between himself and the chasing pack, with the second-placed Fernando Alonso preoccupied with Anakin’s darting and aggressive attempts to pass him. Kimi Räikkönen and Skywalker Jr. followed close behind.

On lap 37 Schumacher headed into the pits, having established a ten second lead over Alonso and Anakin. Alonso held out for longer, with the aim to re-fuel a couple of laps later, in the hope that Schumacher’s progress, when behind him, would be stalled by slow back markers who were being lapped. When Alonso re-fuelled, Anakin raced clear, eating up the track. With less fuel in his tank and a clear track ahead, and having mastered the braking and control required through Loews, Anakin achieved the quickest lap time of 1:13.023, over a second quicker than Schumacher’s 2004 record. It was only until his team technicians had been shouting to him through his head unit for three laps did he finally, and reluctantly come in to re-fuel.

The pit stop was quick, much to Anakin’s delight, however he lost precious seconds exiting the pit lane, as Aussie driver Mark Webber had stalled his Williams-Cosworth. Livid in the knowledge that Schumacher would have overtaken him, Anakin bolted out of the pit lane, when Webber eventually moved aside. Determined to catch the German leader, Anakin was throwing caution to the wind. So much so that, on Anthony Noghes, the final corner before the pits (luckily), he clipped a chevron, causing a 360 degree spin, before righting his car. The clip had caused his car to combust. Despite flames licking all around him, Anakin managed to manoeuvre the vehicle into the pits.

The mechanics managed to extinguish the fire, and the medical team ran to the smouldering driver’s aid, but they were ushered away by the cloaked doctor. The hooded physician mumbled incomprehensibles, while an eerie darkness fell over the entire track. Suddenly an electric explosion lit the Red Bull pits. Brad choked on his champagne, Shatner stopped his incessant moaning, and Angelina got dressed. From the smoke rose a black helmet-clad giant of a man, or was he more machine now than man? Anakin had reverted to Darth Vader, right hand man to the Emperor and the most feared character in the galaxy. And after all that anger management therapy, too.

While the newly re-formed Vader rejoined the race, Luke was making steady progress. Having overcome both Räikkönen and Alonso through a stealthy pit stop – in which he utilised R2-D2’s mechanical expertise ahead of the human hands of Team Red Bull – Luke began hearing familiar mechanical rasping in his earpiece. He felt a disturbance in the force, a sadness in his heart, and a buzzing in his ear that signalled the go-ahead to take control as the number one driver.

Luke sped ahead, tried to push thoughts of Vader to the back of his mind and concentrate on the task before him, instead of contemplating the endless ‘I told you so’s’ he’d get off Princess Leia about believing his father had mended his hell-raising ways. With a new found determination, the Jedi attempted to overtake race leader-Schumacher in the tunnel, despite the narrow track and tight turns. He’d navigated his way through the sharp corners of the Death Star, with Vader on his tail, no cover and guns surrounding him, so this was a cakewalk, he had told himself. Sure enough, displaying powers above and beyond the rest of the field, he passed the seven-time world champion to claim the lead.

Several corners behind him Vader sensed through the force, dark and dingy as it was on his side of the morality street, that Luke was pushing ahead, nearing victory, with only ten laps to go. Enraged, the Dark Lord of the Sith broke the strict FIA protocols that forbade him from using the force, sending a wall of tyres crashing down before Luke’s car. Skywalker swerved, almost losing R2 in the process, but regained control of the car, leaving the tyres flying hazardously on the tarmac behind him.

In a callous move, Vader elevated some unassuming Ewoks among the crowd and threw them, speeding towards his son in the distance. The Ewoks flew through the air, exchanging terrified looks as they hurtled towards the Jedi’s car. But then, in a move anticipated by no one (bar George Lucas and a nodding Steven Spielberg), the furry-forest-dwellers-in-transit were rescued by the towering Chewbacca, who had jumped down from the casino, where he had been cleaning up on the high roller black-jack table. Taking the Ewoks safely in his arms, Chewie then repelled them back onto Vader’s vehicle, where they set about grabbing and pulling away pieces from the torched metal.

The distraction of the Ewoks across his coachworks was taking its toll on Vader and desperate measures were needed to escape the hot fuzz. In a bold move he departed the Red Bull car beside the marina, and took control of George Clooney’s yacht, harboured nearby ready for the wedding festivities of Brad and Ange.

Launching it full force towards the track, Vader directed the vessel towards Luke’s speeding car at tremendous speed. Silence fell as members of the crowd put their hands to their mouths and waited for the inevitable collision. There was no way out.


Suddenly, from nowhere, the familiar sight of the Millennium Falcon swooped into view, firing at the oversized boat and exploding it – and its notorious pilot – into thousands of expensive pieces (which were later collected and auctioned on eBay). Onlookers commented that even from the sky above Monte Carlo, they could hear the raucous celebrations of Captain Solo, as Luke crossed the line and was hailed by the chequered flag.

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